It was never meant to be
by ForeverLily
Summary: Complete! Take a peek into the life a man plagued by his mistakes, whose life life would always bear the mark of a Lily Evans. This features four "chapters" that show Severus Snape in different moments of his adult life that would change the course of the wizarding world. Sorry, I know that this summary isn't all that great but there it is! The Disclaimer is inside!
1. Chapter 1

Never meant to be

Author's Note: I've been wanting to write this fic for a while. I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: This story is based off of Brothers, a song that was written for Full Metal Alchemist by Vic Mignogna, who does voice acting for Funimation. The song below is Brothers-the only changes were that I substituted Lily for brother, I for we, and left for led, and I do not claim ownership for the song or the Harry Potter series, which is owned by J.K. Rowling and Warner Brother's Studios.

-Forever Lily

How can I repay you Lily mine?

How can I expect you to forgive?

Clinging to the past I shed our blood

And shattered your chance to live

Chap 1

"Let's give a toast to our bride and groom-may their cups always be full and their passion for each other never run dry!" Sirius black gave a saucy wink that induced fits of laughter in the audience.

Severus Snape was sitting in the back corner watching the commencement of the reception. Lily was positively glowing in her muggle wedding dress. He couldn't see the details of the white dress but knowing Lily is was simple, but stunning. Even from his distant corner he could tell that she was happy in a way that he never could make her-not even when they were on good terms could he make her smile like that. Someone as tainted as him could never deserve her.

He could hardly stand to watch as the woman he loved was stolen from him by a man who had caused him endless torment in their schooldays.

"I know it's a bit unorthodox…but who cares? I would like to propose a toast to my beautiful wife. You know Lily, I've been fantasizing for years about his day."

"Don't you mean that you were fantasizing about what's going to happen at the end of the day?" Peter called out. They all burst into laughter (except for Lily who was glaring at him). He could tell by the way her hands were on her hips. Would her _husband_ have been able to tell from as far away as Severus? Probably not.

"That too," he laughed, "but anyway, I never thought that it was going to happen. I'd been asking for years and had said no so many times you were beginning to get rather creative. But somehow I was lucky managed to convince you to say yes. So Lily, I propose a toast to our future together!"

"To the future!" They all shouted.

That was the last straw. He had to leave before he ended up hexing Potter and ending the whole damn affair. What good would it do? Severus was still dark, Lily was still light, and she was totally out of his reach.

With a click he was on the perimeter of Malfoy manner. Lucius Malfoy was already there waiting for him at the front gate like he knew what was going to happen all along.

"I accept your proposition."

* * *

"You have failed me Severus." The Dark Lord drawled.

Show no fear-that was the first rule of Slytherin. So the young man held his hand up high and swallowed his fear. "How have I failed you, My Lord?"

"You do not know? You have failed to complete your mission. You were ordered to dispatch the Willow family and failed to do so."

"I retrieved the item that you requested, but there were pureblood children there my-"

"Silence, Severus. I concede that we should waste a precious pureblood life, but you still failed to complete your mission."

"Crucio!" The after what seemed to be endless hours Crabbe and Goyle walked in.

"He has failed to follow my orders to the letter. Make sure that the…mistake will never be repeated." They grinned sadistically.

"Sectumsempra!" The second rule was to show no mercy.


	2. Part 2

Author's Note:

Hey guys! I hope that you have had as much fun reading this as I have writing this. I would like to stress something: I understand that there are many different views on Severus Snape, and this is my interpretation. I am not claiming that there is only way to interpret his character.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, which belongs to J.K. Rowling and Warner Brother's studios. I also do not own the Song Brother's by Vic Mignogna. All of the lyrics in this fic are by Vic Mignogna!

-Forever Lily.

Though I knew the laws I paid no heed.

How can I return your wasted breath?

What I did not know has cost you dear,

For there is no cure for death.

It was never meant to be Part 2

Severus Snape, arguably the most talented wizard of his year, had been reduced to listening through the door that the old fool had never thought to spell to repel those who would listen in. To an outsider, listening through doors and spying through key holes would seem degrading, but to a death eater it was no small privilege. It meant that the Dark Lord was beginning to trust him.

"What are you doing boy?" The barkeep asked sternly.

"I have lost something, but I appear to be mistaken."

The man quirked an eyebrow, "I don't believe for a second that the likes of you is hereby accident. Go on boy, get out, and I don't ever want to see you listening in on other people's private conversation again! You understand me?"

"Of course, sir." That was okay, he had heard all that he needed to hear.

"The one with the power to vanquish the dark lord approaches…" Those words rang in his mind as soon as he heard it. Although he had been told to listen for pertinent information, it had never occurred to him that he would hear anything this important, not during an interview with some batty woman who claimed to be a seer. He had possibly learned the piece of information that could end the war. Well, it would be if he believed in such things. There were very few true seers, and prophecies often were self fulfilling anyway. Even so, he knew that the dark lord would want to know that a child born at the end of July could one day have power to defeat him.

Without wasting anymore time Severus apparated to the edge of Riddle manor's property and all but ran inside. He then smoothed his hair, removed the dust from his robes with a quick scourgio, and sent a message to the Dark Lord himself.

He motioned for Severus to come forward and stand in front of his throne. "What information have you brought for me Severus?"

"The witch that Dumbledore interviewed went into a prophetic state in the middle of the interview."

"And?"

"It is about out a child who could defeat you."

Suddenly the older wizard went stiff and an intense fire began to burn in his eyes. "Divulge the exact contents of the prophecy to me now, Severus."

"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches...born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies...and he shall mark him as his equal, but he will have the power the Dark Lord knows not…" For a moment he feared that the Dark Lord would lash out in anger, but instead the fire died and he wore a cool, calculating expression.

"Fear not Severus, this prophecy will not come to be. I will destroy the child myself."

That night Severus went home to his lonely manor (left to him by his mother's father) and brewed a cup of tea. After it was appropriately steeped and sugared he took a sip as he sank into his arm chair.

The day had been surprisingly eventful. It seemed that despite his reassurances, the dark lord felt threatened by a child who had not yet been born. Perhaps this was not the first that he had of such a prophecy. Surely that was why someone as powerful as the dark lord would feel so threatened. Yes, that must be it. What would such a child mean? Would it mean that the Dark Lord's days were numbered? Or would it mean that the Light would be crushed and living under the rule of the Dark Lord? The last comment inspired a rather unexpected twinge of fear. Lily fought for the light. She would be hurt, probably even killed during the dark lord's rise.

What did he care? She had abandoned him! But she only left because he said something unforgivable, he reminded himself. Maybe he could protect her. Potter would probably be the first to go because of his recklessness, so after he was gone Lily would be there, in danger and in need of comfort… if he rose the ranks he could save her, and the rest didn't matter because in his experience the majority of people were generally useless, so who cared about the rest anyway? They borrowed the ideas of others, tormented the weak, and lacked competency in most things. The world might even be better off without them, but not without Lily. Severus wasn't sure if he could live in a world without Lily.

* * *

About a month later he visited the apothecary in search of lacewing flies. He picked up the jar, carefully examining it. Although lacewing flies were not hard to find it was rare to find them properly prepared and uncrushed.

"Why exactly did you drag us here, Lils?" A voice that he was more than well aware belonged to Sirius Black asked.

"Because, her contractions are getting worse and the mediwitch says to expect the baby around the thirty first. She needs to brew a pain potion to last her until then," Potter explained.

So now Lily was going to Severus' enemy's child. Not only was her son going to be a Potter, he was going to be the one with the potential to defeat the dark lord. Could his day get any worse? He had no choice but to report her. If he didn't and the Dark Lord was to find out he would be dead. For once he pitied Potter. Severus didn't need to possess, 'the inner eye' to know that Potter was going to die.

"And I need very specific ingredients so I don't hurt the baby." A melodic voice chimed in. He knew immediately what she needed. As a part of earning his mastery he had to learn how to brew several different types of pain potions, including some that were safe for pregnant women.

As he pretended to study the jar he saw Lily examining the ingredients. "The book says that I will need lavender and devil's claw, but we can make do with just the lavender. Devil's claw is so expensive! We should be saving the money for the baby..."

"Lily love, it will not in any way hurt our bank account. We could buy half of Diagon Alley and still live comfortably!"

Careful not to be seen by Lily and her companions, he made his way over to the man handling the cash register and handed him the correct amount of money. "To pay for the pregnant woman's herbs- don't tell her who did it, just give her this," he scribbled down a message.

_I hope you find these herbs to be beneficial. _He was about to hand it to the man when he remembered something- _crush, don't mince the devil's claw if you wish the potion to be truly effective. _She would know who it was from.

"These are for me." After paying for the lacewing flies he sat on the counter he disapparated away.

When he arrived at his manor, he conjured a dummy and unleashed the most painful and lethal ones that he knew. He was such an idiot! Why hadn't he guessed. He had heard rumors that she was pregnant, and she and Potter had been married for about the right amount of time… He had screwed up and now he may have just killed her. He needed a drink-something really strong to drown in. Where was the Fire Whiskey when he needed it?


	3. Part 3

Author's Note: Hi guys! This chap was hard to write, so forgive me if it shows!

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, which belongs to J.K. Rowling and Warner Brother's studios. I also do not own the Song Brother's by Vic Mignogna. All of the lyrics in this fic are by Vic Mignogna! IF YOU RECOGNIZE IT, IT DOESN'T BELONG TO ME!

-ForeverLily

Beautiful Lily soft and sweet,

Once you were gone I was not complete

Back through the years I reached for you

Alas 'twas not meant to be

It was never meant to be Part 3

It had been a month since Lily and the Dark Lord were both gone, and Severus had ceased to care. At least he had today. During the first three weeks following her death had gone from grief to rage. Everything within immediate reach was shattered or broken, just like him. It took him a solid week to be able to clean it up because, really, what did it matter in the long run? It was just another thing in his life that was destroyed.

As an adolescent he made poor decisions because he was too blind to see another choice. There was always a choice-Lily had tried to offer it to him a number of times but he was too blinded by his own anger and frustration to see it. As an adult he paid for those poor decisions with everything that really mattered. His chance at rising above his pitiful background has been crushed to dust, he had lost the only friend he ever had, and he had lost his reputation.

Lily was such a sweet child. She would spend hours telling Severus everything. She told him about her pet Gerbil named Augustus because he she thought that he looked regal. He never understood how a Gerbil could regal, but he kept that to himself. She told him about how the other girls in her dorm were teasing her because she was a muggleborn and he threatened to hex them as a first year. She thought he wasn't serious and laughed it off. He was dead serious. He knew about every fight with her sister and how much they hurt her and promised himself to make her life hell every summer. He had even made a fool of himself for her. When she accidentally stained her newly washed robes he purposefully stained his own used a spell to remove them. By the time they had ended their Hogwarts years they were hardly even on speaking terms. Remembering it all hurt.

By the fourth week he was just numb. Nothing mattered anymore. Maybe his father was right-he had nothing, deserved nothing, and would always be nothing.

He took a looki at his surroundings. The floor was made of cold emerald marble, the walls were vivid colors with beautiful trimmings-bright yellows, deep blues, cherry red, vibrant green, and he believed that one the parlors that he rarely went into was purple. In the time it was built it was meant to show status, and grandeur, but now it was fading away just like everything else. The furniture besides the ones that Severus used on a daily basis were all rather uncomfortable antiques. It was as if his house was proof of how far he had fallen.

By the end of the fourth week Severus decided that he had better shave and make himself look presentable. He did not want to be remembered as being any more pathetic than he already was. He had decided to visit the meadow for the first time in years, and bring a strawberry shortcake (lily's favorite dessert) seasoned with a little monkshood to enjoy while he was there. He made just the way Lily liked it. He wanted to remember her forever.

Before he could dissaperate he heard a knock on the door. Who would knock on his door. Most people, the few that even bothered associating with him at all, would floo before calling.

"Hello Severus," It was Dumbledore. "May I come in? I think both of us could use a good cup of tea."

Author's Note:

Hi again! I just wanted to clarify something: In case you didn't know, wolfsbane was used as a poison in the middle ages.

-ForeverLily


	4. Part 4

Author's Note:

Hey guys! I hope you liked it. This was just something quick that I wrote because I really wanted to write something.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, which belongs to J.K. Rowling and Warner Brother's studios. I also do not own the Song Brother's by Vic Mignogna. All of the lyrics in this fic are by Vic Mignogna!

-Forever Lily

And how can I make amends for all that I took from you?

I left you for hopeless dreams.

My Lily I was a fool.

It was never meant to be Part 4

Thirteen years ago Dumbledore had approached Severus and asked him to protect Lily's son and he agreed. What in Merlin's name was he thinking? The boy looked just like James Potter and was probably doomed to become a miniature of his father as well. Even if the boy didn't turn out like his father, he wasn't exactly good with children. He didn't mind the older students who showed promise and passion, but he would rather have a conversation with that imbecile that passed for minister of magic while wearing Gryffindor colors than teach another lesson for a mob of unappreciative first years. Although would never utter such a thing out loud, Severus did have a soft spot for students who reminded him of him somehow.

But that was beside the point. The point is that one of those days that Potter boy was going to be the death of him! Only Harry Potter could possibly be stupid enough to get caught with a werewolf and knock out the Professor trying to stop the werewolf and his criminal associate. He had expected that sort of behavior from Potter, but surely Granger could have knocked some sense into him before it all got too out of hand.

Of course she didn't. Potter is their precious golden boy. If he told them they had to jump off of the astronomy tower she would probably research a way to do that would not involve breaking anything important and then they'd jump no questions asked.

And only Harry Potter would offer to share the Triwizard trophy and hold his head up high and duel the Dark Lord at fourteen. In his own thoughts he usually avoided thinking such thoughts, but he had to admit that he had earned Severus' grudging admiration. Moments like that were what made it hard to see Harry only as copy of his father instead of Lily's son.

Stupid boy! He accidentally slammed a book down too much. Damn! He had forgotten that he was brewing a sound sensitive potion. The whole thing was ruined. He would have to start from scratch. For once he was glad that Dumbledore had bothered to give him something for Christmas because it gave him excess potions ingredients. Occasionally some student would try something truly abysmally moronic and waste precious ingredients.

There a number of times when he considered asking for Dumbledore to let him out of the agreement, but then he remembered Lily. She needed him this time and he could not fail her again. He was the reason that she and her beloved husband too, he had to keep her son alive. It was too late anyway. The Dark Lord was back and things were going to fall apart very quickly.

After he had just started a new batch Dumbledore walked in. "Hello Severus, how are you?"

"The Dark Lord called me back to him. It was most fortunate that he allowed me a chance to explain why I could not come to immediately." That wasn't to say that he went unpunished, but the punishment was significantly less severe. His hands still trembled slightly if he did not carefully control them.

"Here Severus, you should take some of this." He handed him a potion to help control the side effects of the torture curse.

"I don't need it at present," he said, although he took it anyway. Judging from the Dark Lord's mental state he would need it in the days to come.

"How is Tom?"

"Unstable, it seems as if something is missing."

Dumbledore nodded solemnly. "His humanity is most likely gone. His soul has been mutilated far too many times." What about his? Hadn't Severus' been mutilated as well? Had he not murdered in Voldemort's name? Had he not lost the only person that he had ever loved?

"He is much less charming. The last time many of his followers were genuinely loyal but at present most serve him out of fear."

"Then I fear that Harry is in more danger than ever now. I'm afraid that my proximity to the boy may only cause him more danger, but I would like for you to keep a close eye on him." When in the past four years had he not?

"Of course, although I do not know how I will be able to do such a thing and remain a double agent!"

"I have nothing but the utmost confidence in you. Lily would be proud, and so am I." Why did he always have to use Lily like a weapon?

"I will do my best."


End file.
